census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
i believe in u and ur pee
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
