Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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