Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
