i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
