Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
