Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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