Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
