it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
