the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
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