Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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