chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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