you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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