Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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