Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
