I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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