I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Vodka?
Forever.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
