so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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