is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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