I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
