Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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