I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
