It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
