HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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