As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
