man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
