I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
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I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
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I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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