I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
