when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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