Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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