Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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