I need help removing her.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
