I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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