you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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