no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize