Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
