I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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