It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
