I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
