just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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