Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize