I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
