she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize