guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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