I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
