that's an acceptable place to lick
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
