im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
