You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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