i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
