He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
