is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
