Kiss
Puke
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize