I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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