So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
