yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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