"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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