And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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