Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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