just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
