And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
