we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
